Clinical Psychologist Dr Tumi Mashego says there is still a lot of stigma around men seeking mental health, and yet they are at risk of suicide, unlike their female counterpart.

Her comments come as South Africa marks Mental Health Awareness Month .

According World Health Organisation (WHO) men in the country are more than four times more likely to commit suicide than women.

Mashego says men are at risk but they do not seek the help due to stigma.

She says, “I think that narrative that ‘men don’t cry’, society has really failed men with that regard because men hold it in, because they have been socialised to hold it in. So, they keep everything in, they bottle it all up in that regard. They end up with poor coping strategies such alcohol abuse, that’s why we’ve got such high rate of GBV (Gender-based Violence) because they’ve got such anger but they have no safe space. So, I think there is still a long way to go in terms of tackling the challenge to get men to get mental health intervention.”

MEN ARE HUMAN BEINGS

Mashego says society’s expectations strips men of being human beings.

She says, “Its almost like we are expecting them not to be human and yet emotions are part of humanity. They are part of a human experience. Men also get depressed, men cry, men get abused, yet we don’t want to allow the space to heal and talk about their pain and cry about their pain and we are expecting them to be great role models and what happens is that it gets passed down this idea that men shouldn’t cry. It’s an idea that gets passed on to the younger generation and it becomes an inherited in family lines now. So, we really need to do better to break this narrative that men don’t have emotions.”

Mashego says more work needs to be done to creating a space for me to deal with their emotions.

“The same way we take care of women when it comes to speaking about their pain, men need to also get to a place where they are comfortable to do that, but society as a whole, we need to treat men as human beings. Men are human beings, they have human emotions. They will cry, they will be sad, they will be depressed, they also have disappointments, they lose jobs, they get abused, they lose family members. So, I think we are depriving them of their human experience and expecting them to be providers,” says Mashego.

INTERVENTIONS

She says to fight mental illness in men, safe spaces such as workshops and gatherings are needed.

“Let’s have workshops, gatherings where we are just talking about how the mind works, how emotions work and just those safe spaces instead of when there is a crisis or when we are referring them for therapy,” she says.

Mashego says men need to men need to know that it is okay not to be okay and seek help. She adds that there is no excuse for hurting others and people need to understand that as the saying goes “hurt people hurt other people”.

“Therefore, we are in crisis as society because we are wounded and we need to stop functioning from a place of pain. Men are wounded because they are humans and not given the beneficial skills to deal with their hurt, therefore end up wounding others (not to excuse their behaviors); the young men are learning this hurtful behaviour and we need to break the cycle,” says Mashego.