The family of Hermalise Wenn, a 39-year-old mother from Cape Town allegedly murdered by her boyfriend in October, is facing their first Christmas without her, struggling with grief and the responsibility of raising her two children, Daily Voice reports.

Her story casts a harsh light on the devastating impact of gender-based violence (GBV), particularly during the festive season.

“Every mother killed leaves behind children whose lives are permanently altered,” said TEARS Foundation, a non-profit organisation offering advocacy, counselling, and education to survivors of GBV.

Wenn, a healthcare worker and mother of two from Elsies River, was allegedly stabbed and tortured to death by her boyfriend, Clinton “Duiwel” Moses, who was out on parole at the time for a previous stabbing offence and was subject to a protection order.

Her death came just weeks before her 40th birthday, which she had been eagerly planning to celebrate on 13 December.

Cape Argus spoke to her grieving family, who described the emotional and practical toll of her loss as they prepare for their first holiday season without her. They recounted the trauma of that fatal day — her 16-year-old son attempted to intervene and was allegedly stabbed in the shoulder before she urged him to flee with his younger brother.

Her final words to her son, as they escaped, were: “Take care of your little brother and yourself, and you will be okay.”

Moses is expected to appear in the Goodwood Magistrates’ Court this week.

Wenn’s cousin, Lee-Ann Stander, who has been advocating on behalf of the family, said the teenager remains severely traumatised and has yet to speak about the incident. “From the outside, he may appear okay, but we do not know what he is feeling inside,” she said.

At the funeral, the family stood by her grave holding posters with heartfelt messages: “Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure, you are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure.”

Stander explained that in addition to dealing with their grief, the family faced the complex task of arranging guardianship for the two children. Their identities are being withheld to protect their privacy while legal proceedings are ongoing.

“She was the breadwinner. She ran the household. Every home needs a woman — who’s going to cook and clean for Christmas now?” Stander asked. “There is also a financial gap. She brought joy to every celebration. Her laughter, her greetings, her catchphrase — ‘Love you, my niggie (cousin)’ — those are sorely missed.”

“She was excited about her 40th birthday. She had big plans and wanted a party,” she added. “The law didn’t protect her.”

Stander said the family is doing their best to cope, taking each day as it comes.

“There are two children to raise. As much as it hurts, life must go on. She’s not forgotten, but we can’t cry all day and night.”

The family is praying that Moses will remain behind bars, haunted by the fact that, unlike them, his relatives can still visit him.

“Duiwel must stay where he is — that’s where he belongs. He stabbed someone before, and when he was released, he did the same thing again. He should never have been let out. He should rot in jail.

“At least his family can visit him and bring him things. We have only a grave. We hold on to memories. He must get life — that’s what he deserves.

‘Hy’t haar weg geruk van ons af’ — he ripped her from our lives,” she said.

The family, still reeling with unanswered questions and anguish, will face him in court on 9 December. “There is anger. I want to hurt him the way he hurt her. But I don’t have a heart like his,” said Stander. “Facing him hurts like hell.”

Gender-Based Violence and Gang Culture

Celeste Louw, general manager at TEARS Foundation, said gang-related violence has far-reaching effects on families when mothers are killed.

“Gang warfare does not only claim the lives of those directly involved. It traumatises children and shatters households. Many of these tragedies are rooted in deeper systemic issues — inequality, poverty, and neglect,” she said.

“The festive season often intensifies these emotions. While others celebrate, these families are left to confront absence and grief. Children face confusion and emotional distress. Surviving caregivers carry enormous burdens, emotionally and financially.”

“Every mother murdered leaves behind children whose futures are altered forever. Until South Africa prioritises protection, accountability, and healing, the human cost of violence will continue to be borne by the most vulnerable.”

TEARS Foundation offers free, 24/7 support to GBV survivors via its toll-free line: 08000 83 277 or USSD emergency code: 1347355#.

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