There’s this myth — this unshakable parenting legend — that the second child, especially if it’s another boy, is automatically going to be the wild one. The one who climbs the furniture, flushes your car keys, and paint  the dog in colours.

Well, I’m here to report live from my very real living room: not true.

My second-born son is one year old — and so far, he’s the calmest presence in our home. Genuinely. This little soul is gentle, patient, and quite content to play quietly while I cook or sip on a (let’s be honest, cold) cup of tea. He observes more than he acts. He thinks before he leaps. And yes, he’s a boy — a second boy — which apparently makes this even more shocking to some people.

“Just wait,” they say, with knowing smiles. “The second one is always the wild one.”

Right. I’m still waiting.

And while I’m at it, can we please have a word about those parents who love a bit of subtle (or not-so-subtle) comparison? You know exactly who I mean. The ones who say things like:

“Oh, he’s not walking yet? Mine was basically running by one.”

“Still no teeth?”

“Mine was already feeding himself with a spoon at that age!”

Honestly, why? Why do we do this to each other? To our children?

Let me say this loud and clear: Every child is different. Some walk at 10 months. Some prefer a good crawl until 16 months. Some grow teeth early, others late. Some talk your ear off, and some take their time finding their voice. It doesn’t make one better than the other — it just makes them –  them.

I’ve got two boys. My first came into the world like a beautiful storm — full of energy, opinions, and a need to be in motion 24/7. My second? He’s more like a gentle cold front — calm, curious, and low key – my emotional support baby, but watch everything his brother does.

And that’s the beauty of it. Same mommy, same DNA, same home — completely different humans.

So to the comparison crew: please stop ranking babies like there’s some kind of prize for “fastest tooth eruption” or “earliest steps.” It’s exhausting. And it’s not fair to the little ones who are just busy being exactly who they’re meant to be.

One thing I know — with a thousand percent certainty — is that every child is unique, and that’s exactly how it’s meant to be.

So here’s to the quiet ones, the cautious ones, the later bloomers, the early risers — and yes, even the wild ones. They all belong. They all shine. And they all grow in their own time.

Please remember to tune into next weeks episode of “How was your first week of school holidays…”

tracy-lynn.ruiters@inl.co.za

Weekend Argus 

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