Seventeen years after the harrowing murder of Kerry Winter – a former resident of Durban whose life was violently taken by her ex-boyfriend, Mark Arnold, in Dubai – her elder brother, Kurt Winter, has penned a poignant book titled Help Us Find Kerry. 

The book details not only the tragic circumstances of her death but also Kurt’s relentless fight to uncover the truth and seek justice for his sister, all while contending with unimaginable challenges.

Kerry, only 35 years old at the time of her death, had crafted a promising career as an events manager with a Dubai-based conference and exhibition company since 2001.

Her life took a dark turn when she became involved with Arnold, a British national she had met in the course of her work. 

Initially inseparable, their relationship devolved into a nightmare, plagued by jealousy and violence.

In 2008, Kerry was attacked in her apartment by a man with a baseball bat and dragged into a car. She was never seen again.

Arnold, who was about seven years older than Kerry at the time, was found guilty of her murder and, after appealing the verdict, was sentenced to 25 years in jail.

In his book, Winter, 58, recalled the family receiving a call from Kerry’s work colleague, who was concerned that something had happened to her when she did not show up for work and was not answering her phone.

She then informed the family that a neighbour told her he had seen a man attack Kerry on her patio, which was covered in blood.

Having met Arnold, Winter said the description was a match but when his mother called him directly to find out Kerry’s whereabouts, he informed them that he was out of the country and did not know where she was.

Winter said the family later received a message from Kerry’s phone stating that she had met a new man and was out of town.

The message was suspicious, and they responded in Afrikaans, knowing that Kerry would be able to understand. There was no response.

Winter said he travelled to Dubai to find his sister, and the search was riddled with obstacles, from the language barrier and lack of assistance from the police and the South African government to the threat of being arrested.

He said they launched a Facebook campaign called ‘Help Us Find Kerry’, which is now the title of his book.

The campaign gained momentum in Dubai, with thousands of expatriates, including many Durbanites, joining the search for Kerry.

The news of her disappearance spread to other countries, with psychics claiming that Kerry was still alive.

After months of searching and trying different channels to find Kerry, Arnold confessed to the murder.

“Mark initially made multiple conflicting confessions about Kerry’s fate. At first, he claimed that he dropped her off in the desert and that she was fine. Later, he changed his story and stated that she died in the car and that he decided to dispose of her body at sea,” said Winter.

Describing the events that led to her murder, Winter said the physical abuse began after Kerry discovered that Arnold had been cheating on her with a woman he worked with.

Winter said Kerry later moved out, but Arnold had the perception that if he couldn’t have her, no one else would, and “he made her life miserable”.

He described his harassment as relentless, involving continuous calls, unannounced visits, and creating a constant sense of unease.

“He had planted a tracker in her car and had his driver follow her everywhere. Even in her new apartment, she wasn’t safe,” he said.

According to Winter, Mark used a ladder to scale her balcony, broke into her residence, and stole her jewellery and designer clothing to prevent her from looking appealing to anyone else.

However, he said Kerry believed him when he said that he would change and went back to him, but he continued the affair with his co-worker, and she decided to leave for good, but “the harassment continued”.

Winter said his sister had informed the South African Embassy in Dubai, the police, and even Arnold’s company of her fears for her life, but no action was taken.

Following Arnold’s confession, Winter said they continued to search for Kerry’s body in the hope of finding closure. 

“No matter how many setbacks we faced, I knew that giving up was never an option. Not when there was still a chance to find the truth, no matter how painful that truth might be.”

He said the case stretched over four years, and according to reports, the death penalty was taken off the table because there was no body.

Winter said he spent three months in Dubai and returned home to find mounting bills, an overwhelming workload, repossession notices for all his properties, and a business in distress.

“At that moment, I realised something crucial. I had been through hell and back, and yet, somehow, I couldn’t afford to be angry – not anymore. Anger wouldn’t bring my sister back.”

He said he struggled to keep his head afloat, but he still held onto the hope that things would turn around, and they did.

Winter said the questions will haunt them forever – what did Mark do with Kerry’s body? What did she go through in those final moments? 

“I wish so badly we could have had those answers, that one final moment where we could say goodbye the right way, with clarity, with truth.”

The book was launched in Johannesburg on August 20, coinciding with the anniversary of Kerry’s death, in partnership with organisations including Women For Change, Awareness for Child Trafficking Africa, Missing Children South Africa, and the Dyslexic Association of South Africa.

These organisations will benefit from all the proceeds of the book, which has been described as more than just a story 

“It’s a voice for justice, a call to action, and a tribute to all women silenced by violence,” said one organisation.

Winter’s ongoing fight for justice has evolved into a journey of social activism, advocating for change and creating awareness about gender-based violence among other issues facing women and children.

He added that more information has emerged since the book’s launch.

Growing up in Newlands, Winter said his family was not big on verbalising their love for each other, but instead expressed their love through their actions.

The same determination he showed while searching for his sister in Dubai is evident in his efforts to write this book.

Speaking at the launch, Winter, who is dyslexic, said he was encouraged to overcome his learning disability by his wife, Trudy, to tell this important story.

“It didn’t stop me from achieving what I wanted to do or from going where I wanted to go… I want to share and tell people that just because you are dyslexic, it doesn’t mean that you are stupid. It just means that you have to find other means to get what you want.”

The upcoming launch in KwaZulu-Natal is set for September 13, 2025, at Curfew Durban, with an announcement for a Cape Town event to follow, indicating Winter’s ongoing commitment to fostering dialogue around these critical issues.

karen.singh@inl.co.za

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