Upon my death, the supreme being of the universe unraveled itself from the emptiness and presented itself before me. Understanding the gravity of this once-in-a-deathtime chance, the question that had burdened our collective conscious since the dawn of man burst from my lips: “What is the meaning of life?” The being undulated, and though it didn’t make a sound, I could hear its answer. “Life? There is no life. Only TREATMENT.” “What?” I asked, confused. “NO ADS, ONLY TREATMENT. CAN YOU SURVIVE UNTIL THE SEVENTH DAY?? COME AND PLAY LAST ASYLUM WITH ME” and with those esoteric words, the being returned to nothingness, leaving more questions than answers.

So let’s find some answers! Welcome back William Kitten-ers (I really need to come up with a better name for you guys), today we are tackling the ads for a mobile game called “Last Asylum: Plague.” And by tackle, I mean make endless jokes at their expense. Join me as we breach exciting topics such as garlic knives, mouse urine, and AI foot fungus. I hope that sounds exciting to you, because I’m not sure how else to pitch these, they really do suck.

As always, (I say as if the majority of you read my descriptions) I have a list of fun factoids about the video that I felt the need to include:

1. At 0:41 I say “cantankerous” thinking it means stinky, but it actually means cranky. How could you ever trust me again after that blunder!?
2. At 3:46 I accuse the plague doctor of not helping in the fight, but it turns out he actually does a tiny little sweep kick for like two frames. When will the lies end???
3. At 4:46, the cabinet in the top right is open even though it was closed earlier in the skit. And that’s just the FIRST continuity error.
4. I really hope 11:22 sets off someone’s Alexa
5. At 11:42, Elesa is wearing a watch even though she wasn’t earlier in the skit. And that’s just the SECOND continuity error.
6. At 17:04, Elesa is wearing socks without sandals, even though she is wearing sandals in the previous shot. And that’s just the THIRD continuity error.
7. At 19:54, you can see the tripod set up on the left of the screen. Did I even TRY with this video????
8. The kingshot lumberyard line at 38:26 was actually fabricated. Kingshot NPC’s never actually say the words “lumber yard” but you do build one first thing so I decided to text-to-speech some fake dialogue. When will the falsitudes cease!?
9. At 46:26 I say “tung tung sahir” instead of “tung tung tung sahir” I will surely get cancelled.
10. The “we didn’t start the fire” megaman remix I used was posted by Chips ‘N Cellos and can be found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDNz62gu2w
11. The bottles I’m holding in the thumbnail were drawn by my friend Elliot! His instagram is @elvas.art
12. I ended up getting desensitized to the foot ad after editing it so much.
13. Don’t ask why William Peggington had a big screen that said “last asylum” on it in his peg game dedicated video.
14. Speaking of peg game, turns out the brand is called “toysmith” not “neato”
15. I edited a lot of this video while sick. Lmao that’s so crazy?? (Because the video is about the plague)
16. 37games does, in fact, have more than 2 games. I’m not sure why the appstore only showed two. But they don’t have 37! And that’s all that matters! This is still an undeniable victory for me!!!!
17. During the clips with the YouTube UI like at 34:20, the “Y” in the title is slightly cut off. Normally I would drop everything and fix this but honestly I’m so done working on this.

Thank you all so very much for watching this video! And for reading this description. For my next video I’m gonna step out of my comfort zone and finally make something NON mobile game ad related. GOBSMACKING, I know (is that a word?). Leave me cool suggestions in the comments please (or I will explode). I’ll prooobably see you guys again in August. I’m gonna go play Deltarune now.

CHAPTERS:

0:00 – Intro
1:47 – Recipe for Disaster
4:27 – Uncanny Voice Acting
7:51 – Unlikeable Characters
12:07 – Fake Gameplay
15:59 – Shoddy Editing
19:07 – Artificial Ingredients
19:19 – AI Slop
21:02 – The Grossest Stuff You’ve EVER Seen
24:53 – Manipulative Marketing
28:53 – Blatant Lying
33:30 – Suspicious Sponsorships
36:04 – Gameplague (get it?)
43:04 – The Secret Ingredient
45:43 – Worst Ad Ever
47:16 – Conclusion

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